What are the Biggest Divorce Mistakes?
Biggest Divorce Mistakes
Do you know the biggest mistakes people make going through a divorce?
Have you ever stopped to wonder about what may be the biggest divorce mistakes that people make? Today, we must face the cold reality that a majority of marriages fail. Divorce is now a harsh but "normal" part of adult life. So, just as with thinking about life insurance and the implication of pondering your own eventual death, although they may be hard to think about we must prepare our minds against falling into the traps of the biggest divorce mistakes, should we ever have to face that painful legal and personal process.
What are this biggest divorce mistakes that people make?
- Getting all caught up in numbers when deciding on property and asset division. A 50/50 split may seem fair, but may not actually be so. Just for example, what if one of you has a lower risk tolerance than the other, and less knowledge about investments...but a 50/50 split would mean that that person gets the lion's share of a volatile stock portfolio that she wouldn't even want? Do a real inventory, and honestly assess which one not only "should" get which assets, but WHY they should get them. You want to take away what is in your best interests, and raw numbers aren't always going to tell the whole story.
- Allowing yourself to be bullied or threatened into doing what your spouse wants. Often in divorce, one spouse attempts to bully the other into submitting to whatever s/he wants, and of course this is usually not in the meeker spouse's best interests at all. A lot of times it comes down to using the children as pawns. A lot of times there are financial threats made if one spouse earns much more money than the other. Getting bullied and manipulated by an angry spouse is definitely one of the biggest divorce mistakes that anyone in that unfortunate situation can possibly make.
- Being "advised" by family and friends. Unless they are professional divorce lawyers, don't listen to them, even if they are divorced themselves. Although some laymen might be astute enough to give you sound advice about divorce, most aren't. They will tell you how they feel, rather than what makes for good divorce strategy for you.
- Failing to understand that your finances are likely to be tight for a while even after the divorce is settled. You're not a two-income family anymore, if you were before. And, the money that was able to be consolidated into one home now must be spread between two, and there will be added personal expenses.
- You might have to sell the family home. Don't get too attached to it, or it could affect your strategic judgment.
- Failing to communicate with your spouse and/or turning the divorce court into a theater of war. Even if you now dislike your spouse, keep communication open and civil--and let the attorneys handle the courtroom, not your personal War of the Roses.
- Talking about the adult stuff with or in front of the children. You, not they, are the adults. You and your spouse must handle those issues, and do so in private.
- Having a good parenting in place before final settlement. You're going to have a different and possibly strained relationship with your ex to be. The way that the two of you handle parenting will need to be carefully planned out.
Theses are all the biggest divorce mistakes. The biggest divorce mistakes all come about as a result of a failure to plan ahead and think rationally through the process.
If you are considering or already seeking divorce in New York state, and want to see if mediation will work for your family, contact New York City lawyer Mary Grace Condello.
If you need a divorce lawyer call now 888.695.2943 or email us if we can help.
If you want more information see our free resources or after viewing our biggest divorce mistakes information check out New York Alimony Laws.
